Lawyer Quotes For Tracy

As some of you know, my wife is a paralegal. I post these quotes in honor of her and her profession.

Stupid Lawyer Quotes

Lawyer: "You were there until you left, is that true?"


Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"


Lawyer:"You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"


Lawyer: "Do you have any children or anything of that kind?"


Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"


Lawyer:"Have you lived in this town all of your life?"
Witness: "Not yet."


Lawyer: "And lastly, Gary, all of your responses must be oral, okay? What school do you go to?"
Witness: "Oral."
Lawyer: "How old are you?"
Witness: "Oral."


Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting in a jar on my desk."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."