Ever wonder....
Why you don't see the headline "Psychic Wins The Lottery?"
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
When dog food is "new and improved tasting," who tests it?
Why they call what doctors do "practice?"
Why they don't build airplanes out of those "little black boxes" they are always looking for?
Why they call where you drive a "parkway," and where you park a "driveway?"
Why in baseball the pitcher's mound is 6 ft. 6 inches from home plate?
Is there something special about those 6 inches?
Why on the bag of Fritos, it says "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (Is this the shoplifter's special?)
Why on most Christmas lights it states: "For outdoor or indoor use only."
(As opposed to...what?)
You might be a mountain climber
You might be a mountain climber if.....
You have more summit pictures than wedding pictures.
You've ever had icicles hanging from any part of your face.
You hear the name "Hillary" and think of Everest instead of Mrs. Clinton.
You've been arrested for climbing the county courthouse.
You introduce your girlfriend/wife as your belay partner.
Your first aid kit consists of Diamox, Dex and Morphine.
You have ever flipped a coin to see who slept in the trunk of the car.
You have ever been called down off a route by the sheriff.
You drop something at work and yell "Rock!"
You don't walk down stairs, your rappel them.
You have one of those "falling" dreams and on your way down you scope
out the cliff to see if it will go.
You have a secret journal of bagged peaks hiden somewhere in your
bedroom. Your wife calls it your “Peak Bagging List.” You call it a
“Climbing Log.”
You truly realize that the fall never killed anyone. It's that hitting the
ground part.
You have more summit pictures than wedding pictures.
You've ever had icicles hanging from any part of your face.
You hear the name "Hillary" and think of Everest instead of Mrs. Clinton.
You've been arrested for climbing the county courthouse.
You introduce your girlfriend/wife as your belay partner.
Your first aid kit consists of Diamox, Dex and Morphine.
You have ever flipped a coin to see who slept in the trunk of the car.
You have ever been called down off a route by the sheriff.
You drop something at work and yell "Rock!"
You don't walk down stairs, your rappel them.
You have one of those "falling" dreams and on your way down you scope
out the cliff to see if it will go.
You have a secret journal of bagged peaks hiden somewhere in your
bedroom. Your wife calls it your “Peak Bagging List.” You call it a
“Climbing Log.”
You truly realize that the fall never killed anyone. It's that hitting the
ground part.
Salvation
Are any of you seeing many people saved?
I realize that lost people simply don't "come to church" as they perhaps once did, either out of curiosity, church as a community event, or whatever other reason they might attend.
I'm not seeing nor am I hearing of that many professions of faith lately.
To be honest, it's discouraging.
I realize that lost people simply don't "come to church" as they perhaps once did, either out of curiosity, church as a community event, or whatever other reason they might attend.
I'm not seeing nor am I hearing of that many professions of faith lately.
To be honest, it's discouraging.
Masonic Funeral
This happened to a certain pastor and I'll relate it as briefly and accurately as possible. The pastor held a funeral service and there was to be a Masonic burial at the cemetary. While walking towards the tent at the cemetary, the pastor asked the "Master Mason" about the protocol (for instance, "Would he (the pastor) need to close with prayer?")
The "Master" said that, yes, he would call on him (the pastor) to close the service after they had performed the Masonic rituals. The pastor said that he usually made a few brief comments about the resurrection before dismissing in prayer. The "Master" simply stared him down and shook his head, indicating "No."
The pastor, of course, dismissed with one of the longest prayers of his ministry, incorporating the body as a seed, the last trump, the dead in Christ rising,etc. After saying "Amen," the pastor raised his head and looked over towards the "Master," who was definately not smiling. The Mason at the foot of the casket holding the outstretched sword wasn't smiling either.
Many people just don't realize the things that go on "behind the scenes"
in the ministry.
The "Master" said that, yes, he would call on him (the pastor) to close the service after they had performed the Masonic rituals. The pastor said that he usually made a few brief comments about the resurrection before dismissing in prayer. The "Master" simply stared him down and shook his head, indicating "No."
The pastor, of course, dismissed with one of the longest prayers of his ministry, incorporating the body as a seed, the last trump, the dead in Christ rising,etc. After saying "Amen," the pastor raised his head and looked over towards the "Master," who was definately not smiling. The Mason at the foot of the casket holding the outstretched sword wasn't smiling either.
Many people just don't realize the things that go on "behind the scenes"
in the ministry.
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